Gaffie Labs at your service

Fandom: Thor Film

Beta: My hangover

Summary: Sif takes advice from Thor. It does not go well for Loki.
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I refuse to stop listening to Bad Rabbits until the world makes sense again.  Until my lungs work, and my teacher's stop acting like unintentional assholes.

I don't want to give up the ensemble course at school, but I think the time has come to walk away from the stage and accept something I really don't want to.  I need to accept the fact that a band isn't in the works for me.  The other kids in my class already have bands or just want jam work outs.  Jazz vocalist aren't in high demand up here.  Women vocalists, even less.  Unattractive women even less so.

Dozens of women musicians I know up here are incredibly bitter.  They call it "The Boy's Game." because frankly, there aren't opportunities for women do be anything other than a one piece or a two piece set.  When I left musical theater for jazz and punk rock, I thought- finally. I hadchance to do what I want to do-what my voice SHOULD have been doing. Which I did.

In a classroom.  Alone in my bedroom.  Maybe in a practice room.  Occasionally in a school organized recital.

Year after year I've taken the same classes only to be passed over for other males in my class, all with less range, skill, and experience.  I got so sick of it, I started retraining myself in piano and started picking up all the rock instruments until I could play any instrument with ease.  Learned practical music theory backwards and forwards until I won student nominated awards. 

I went on auditions and was turned down at every opportunity.  I hit open mics and been cheered with deafening applause, doing the thing I never wanted to do. perform as a female singer/songwriter cliche.  They're kind of the joke of Anchorage.  You can find them for pennies and they only know three chords.  They're scoffed and looked down on, and those that don't always gaze with confusion going, "I wonder what's wrong with her. Why isn't she in a band?" Though god forbid any of them ever try. 

So here's my promise to myself.  By the time I turn twenty five, I will:

A) Own my own recording equipment.
B) Have recorded the songs I have scribbled away in the corners of my textbooks, like I'm the Half-Blood Prince or something.
C)Have utter faith in myself
D) Help every other female musician I know to the best of my abilities.


The first step to doing this has to be to stop taking the performance oriented music classes.  I have enough credits for my minor.  I don't need to put myself through the stress of trying to mesh with guys who spurn me outside of class.  Who think I'm worht less than my other female counterparts because I don't show off at every opportunity and don't vomit after every meal.

The best thing I can do for me is give up on the band dream for now and focus on my music come to life on my own fucking terms.

Also, buy my own drum kit instead of borrowing my roommates/the school's.

IDK how many bandom folk on this journal read this exclusively and not LJ as well.  Is it worth putting a Dw post up on my bandom gen werewolf fic or should I not even bother since yall can find me on LJ.

Amanda Palmer is kind of wonderful.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, Amanda fans have so many aspects to love!

She's a musician!  Piana and ukelele and all sorts of wonders!
She's an artist!  She paints and draws and designs clothes!
She's a very interesting blogger!  She writes about her life as a traveling Jack-of-all-Trades
She promotes strangers who are amazing!  See her blog
She is an actor/singer/dancer!  See her performance in Cabaret!

And for the shallow, her body is symmetrically pleasing.

See, passion!  Ukelele!  Symmetry!

If this isn't enough, sign up for her mailing list and get updates on classic Amanda Shenanigans, like observing a Neil Gaiman in his natural habitat.

I have a cat! Jasmine is amazing.  She's sweet, adorable and she's six years old.

I know I need to get catnip and a harness and leash so she can hang outside.   Anyone have some advice for me?  We also have a dog and while the dog ADORES her, she's not thrilled.

I love her.  She's a Nita cat.

So.  Better Idea than "I WILL DO TEN MILLION THINGS TO LONG AS I DON'T IMPLODE EMOTIONALLY" because dude.  DUDE.  Being an emotional trainwreck is like, my thing.  Possibly an art form.  For chrissake, I posted a love letter on craigslist a couple days ago and I got zero porn offers and one pity letter.  :|  I wish that was a joke.

ANYWAY, since there's BBB and the part where I am moving between Sunday and Tuesday and I have a house to clean tomorrow, I will make smaller goals.  Want to run an errand, edit a section.  Pack a box, edit a section.  Rearrange furniture, pass out for a while (As I Should Be).  Wake up, edit a section.

NGL, the mixing will wait until after I move.  I keep my music on the external. 


In Non Fandom news:

I'm a little terrified of moving.  My first apartment.  My first time living with guys.  What if I end up homeless? What if Sebastian decides he can't share a bathroom with me.  I have a lot of what if's.  A lot of things riding for next year.  ugh.  I may be the only person who has more anxiety during the summer than the school year.

All I remember from tonight is feeling like my heart was bursting and then "Greta should have mandibles" rolling over in my head, again and again.

I'm a lot terrified of having my third bad living situation in a row.  And I mean, these guys are a bunch of drunk stoners.  If I can't get them to like me, what else is there?  o.o  My one saving grace is the knowledge that if things get really bad, i can beg my way back. I think.  Or crash with a prof.

I love how 3/4th of green's bandom friending meme are people I already subscribe to either here or on LJ.  It is like hanging out at a reunion in that journal.  Clearly exciting things are cooking on Dw.

Last night was amazing.  I got a lot of comments on my....dancing/flailing/backbends while playing bass.  I'm sure you all can picture my hysterical laughter.  Obvious I'm no where near as crazy as Pete or Lyn-Z or Frank, but it was still kind of funny that the band was all "You didn't kick our guitarist in the face! :D!!!" while the audience went. \o/ "YEEAAAHHH"

Awards ceremony in a few hours.  I need people to hold me down to keep me from doing something stupid like yelling, "You lie." during certain segments.